Current location:	baldwin harbor, ny
Current mood:	nostalgic
Current music:	cant cry anymore. sheryl crow

okay. this should make up for a while...
August 22, 2007 - Wednesday


re: finally over it (a true friend)
Current mood: awake
Category: Friends

I didn't know. Nonetheless, WORD!

I went thru the same thing and came to the same conclusions...self love and music. That is how I ended up into music doing my iTunes thing and meeting you!

Keep in mind that when you love someone like we both have, they will always be in your heart. If they are not, then you didn't truly love them, Obsession and Lust lurk around the same neighbor emotionally but they are different!

So, find you inner (qwan) and outer peace (music)...love thyself first! Family and friend who are truly that will be there for you no matter what time of day or place in the world. Interlopers and the nontrue will show their true colors. That is simply the way of the world and you cannot change it. Set you criteria for how close you let people get close to you...and conversely...how close you will get to people with/without all of the proper ingredients for the type of association/relationship at hand.

Then take one say at a time and self evaluate!

Remember, I am here if you need to chat. You are going thru the same thing I went thru not too long ago at a much younger age...you're so fortunate and you may or may not realize this.

As you know, think of me as your old brother...I will let you know my opinion and not judge you...only try to be family and a friend...just remember...I am brutally truthful!

~Rod

Currently listening :
Emotions
By Mariah Carey
Release date: 17 September, 1991

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August 7, 2007 - Tuesday


the revolution has begun.
Current mood: creative

i've found a situation. we've started on a good note.

i love sharing a musical experience with another person.

its only that one thing now that will help me.

i want it too. i want it to.

my prizm is luminous.

right in front of me i see it all so clearly

boring is never the time that our melismas take

we're never over rehearsed, we're never over baked.

i see so much in the eyes of that which/whom plays the guitar

if you had a show today, i'd gladly pay

seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, milleniums, eons

i'm killing time wondering, so start me up.

if you start me up i'll never stop.





xxx

Currently listening :
Version
By Mark Ronson
Release date: 12 June, 2007

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August 5, 2007 - Sunday


the revolution has to start let’s not waste no time.
Current mood: mellow

i'm in desperate need of a substitute. granted, we went out on a good note.

i love sharing a musical experience with another person.

chocolate, ice cream, liquor, cigarettes & weed won't help right now.

i don't want them to.

i just want you back, cause absence makes my heart cold black.

having fun in the summer sun. they stole my ball, i'm still on the run.

mornings solidify nights. nights meld into days.

how can i be wrong if no one can see what i can?

soaked, your soul. you swim in my eyes by the bed.

if i asked myself to stay, i'd end up sailing away.

seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, milleniums, eons

i'm killing time wondering, so stop me.

enough is enough.



xxx





Currently listening :
Unplugged
By Alicia Keys
Release date: 11 October, 2005

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May 29, 2007 - Tuesday


myspace: the bane of my existence.
Current mood: nostalgic
Category: MySpace

To say that something or someone is "the bane of my existence" means
that the person or thing is a constant irritant or source of misery.
As a cliché, "bane of my existence" has lost its edge to a large
degree over the years, and today is most often applied to something
that may profoundly annoy us but is certainly bearable... "Bane of my
existence" is now almost always used in a semi-jocular, "what are you
gonna do?" sense.

But "bane" was once a very serious word. The Old English "bana" meant
literally "slayer" in the sense we now use "killer" or "murderer."
Early on, the English "bane" was also used in the more general sense
of "cause of death," and by the 14th century "bane" was used in the
specialized sense of "poison," a sense which lives on in the names of
various poisonous plants such as "henbane" and "wolfbane."

From this very literal "something that kills you" usage, "bane" by the
16th century had broadened into its modern meaning of "something that
makes life unpleasant, a curse."

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Currently listening :
Breath from Another
By Esthero
Release date: 28 April, 1998

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May 3, 2007 - Thursday


i have no fear of this machine.
Current mood: awake

o this is perfect, okay this is for everybody for the new year. forget everything that happened yesterday and all those yesterdays before. '07 must rule. i'm gonna kick out the jams. we're gonna have dick cheny's head on a plate & put the fear of God into george bush. freaks of america unite.

circle around the park, joining hands in silence. watch the evil back the sky. the storm has ripped the shelter of illusion from our brow. this power is no mystery to us now. leave your spirit genocide, the cancer you won't remove. we cast our funeral rows and sighed then buried the need to prove. our mutilation is to gain from the system.

turn your head away from the screen people it will tell you nothing more. don't suck the milk of flacid BILL K. publics empty promise to the people that the public can't ignore. this way of life was so devised to snuff out the mind that moves. moving with grace the men despise and women have learned to lose. throw off your shame or be a slave to the system.

let me see you take another drag,
one more lost soul to raise your flag.
the sky is a landfill.

you like to dance to the rolling head of the adultress. you see it pays, a suicide. we know you're useless like cops at the scene of a crime. with your steroids and your feedbag and your stable and your trainer. i've got a mail-bomb for you mister strongarm. roll out the stones from all the cemetary homes for the violence of a nation gone bad.
for the politics of weakness and the garbage dump of souls that will now black the sky.

their yellow haze and crowds advise will plug out the mind that moves. moving with grace the men despise and women have learned to lose. we'll shell our bodies in disdain for the system. we see you take another drag. one nation bends to kiss the hide.
the sky is a landfill.


is that what you heard?









Currently listening :
Sketches (For My Sweetheart the Drunk)
By Jeff Buckley
Release date: 26 May, 1998

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April 18, 2007 - Wednesday


after all the lights go down.
Current mood: lethargic
Category: Life

downstairs is dark.
she sits alone.
stares all day
at the siren phone

just a lark
on a basement wall
when she hears
she talks alone

if having friends
were framing art
she'd make a name
for throwing darts

her house is filled with voices
her heart is filled with lies
her house is filled with clutter
her heart is filled with cries.

and in the final throws
she'll be the one
to fool herself
to think she knows
but in denial
never works
to cure the pain of longing.

there was always

something

to be

desired.


Currently listening :
Z
By My Morning Jacket
Release date: 04 October, 2005

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March 31, 2007 - Saturday


where should i park?
Current mood: mellow

to be so involved in ones self can be a hinderence. good things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. embers don't really burn me, but somehow cigarette ash does. and when i read, my mind drifts so far away from the text i end up finishing the book before turning the pages. i manifest whats in front of me. i'm not learning anything new. so where to look?

if i sit out on some dock or bay in my hometown and search out to beat as far as the eyes can see i catch it. that infinite place, thats where my ship lies. the sun by my side and i with naught to do but sit around and dream all day, dream all day of you...

okay okay, now i'm getting sentimental.

what i'm really trying to say is when do we stop playing games and start living what we feel? life and people have so much to gain from love and peace and friendship and laughter and sex and music. whatever it is, why can't we share it and what is there more to say? my friend lauren says she understands me, i know she does. thats understanding. why can't you be my lauren? why can't you understand me? maybe its not for me to know. maybe we were never meant to be.

xxx

Currently listening :
The Evolution of Robin Thicke
By Robin Thicke
Release date: 03 October, 2006

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March 13, 2007 - Tuesday


eleven. santa monica blvd.
Current mood: relaxed

its difficult to get my point across to people who just dont listen.

i wish before i had to make a decision i could sing the ultimatum to randy paula and simon.

i want to buy the new special K with chocolate.

i quit smoking.

i should actually start doing something with all of these printed headshots & resumes

my bed is so confortable.

i play guitar everyday. practice makes perfect.

i have 93 loads of laundry to do.

i'm gonna be on the real world.

rhianna hates me. i hate rhianna.

i need ice cream. right now.




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Currently listening :
Songs in a Minor
By Alicia Keys
Release date: 17 October, 2002

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February 28, 2007 - Wednesday


aretha & fiona
Current mood: awake

its interesting the people you interact with and run into when you're not eager to meet anyone at all. lets say for instance i met someone the other day with the exact same musical taste as i. he informed me that jon brion does a show a largo every regular friday, in true form fiona apple shows up to sing the singers & standards tunes and everyone stays introspective as she does throughout, i'm sure. they tell me its a veritable soho house. no cellular phones allowed. your arms will be chopped off. it gives me the sense that there is still a place where music is important. where its not about show so much as tell. i'm dying to be a part of that aesthetic. i find that as i get older and the time progresses my musical tastes get older and simpler. lets use aretha franklin as an example. i'd heard about how good she was, how talented. even heard her sing...live, on television, in record. i must admit i didn't really buy into the fascination until i walked into amoeba (possibly the most thorough record store in the US). walking up and down the soul aisle this seafoam green album cover caught my eye...stopped me dead in my tracks like headlights...Aretha Franklin, Soul '69. it has to be the quintessential album of that year. it reminds us that its not what is in our intention rather what is in our soul that counts. all vocalists and musicians should strive to reach half of this womans strength, musicality & vocal presence. she sings and hits the piano with such conviction, it astonishes me everytime i put my headphones up to listen. this is true inspiration. the original voice. so when someone says their favorite album is soul '69, automatically my heart combusts into some sort of paramount studio pyrotechnic. tom cruise is running, smashing into some car desperately attempting to save the world from an asteroid fantasy. thats what i see, thats what i feel and i'm transported to a time that has escaped me. somehow familiar, somehow comfortable. and when asked what's your favorite album ramses? i say... Fiona Apple, Extraordinary Machine.

my goal for the next 6 weeks is to listen to two albums. listen intently on the bass parts and to the rhythm sections, the harmonics and search for undiscovered territory in music already discovered. one vintage record one fairly new. by doing so i think i will develop a listening skill will which in turn help me focus my writing, both critically and creatively.

Currently listening :
Soul '69
By Aretha Franklin
Release date: 14 December, 1993

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